Monday, 20 September 2010

Exhibition opening, change of enviroment and outlook

I made these roses for the exhibition to do a bit of self promotion and put them in a vase, the people that run it were kind enough to let me have this there also along with bussiness cards. My mum helped me make them.

The exhibition was a crazy experience for me...ive never did anything like this or had my work so public before that wasnt the internet. My style and medias have changed so much that its strange looking at work i do now compared to the sorta things i used to do. As far as i know my work was so different from everyone elses styles and pieces there. Im not sure if this a good thing or a bad thing since art is subjective. All the art and work people have put into them and the exhibition is just wonderful.

I know it may not seem grand or wonderful but it meant so much to me, it really did, i do not have very much going for me in life, i never have apart from art and the little things i enjoy fill me with so much joy more than money or all the treasure in the world could do.

My heart and mind have been filled with so many alien feelings lately, ones i did not know i could feel or think, one of these feelings is seeing my work up on a wall with other works. Framed, shiney and perserved and propperly done. One would think you should be filled with happiness and be proud of yourself, im not sure if that is because thats a natural response for approval and fruit of labour. But i feel a feeling that i do not know when looking at my work like that, i hope to know more of this feeling to understand it.

I also recently went on a train journey to meet a friend cause their at university now, Ive been job hunting but its very difficult. I did not know by the age of 21 that i would still be struggling so much with things such as jobs, living, what i want to do in life and making art. I got to meet his flatmates and their wonderful people they really are, it also gave me a weird sense of longing to go to a university when somehow ive never had a desire to do such a thing since even when i was in college.

I felt comfortable in the dusty old building, with the mess on the floor and in corners, the non comfort of a bath which i have always. The journey up to the city was so beautiful watching all the vast landscapes we have in scotland, woodland, rivers, lakes, gothic architecture, oh my i shed a tear.

I had a moment on that train where it felt like no one was around me i forgot where i was and just all the feelings of everything hit me. So much has happened in so little time, yet the feeling was all the most wonderful things you never knew would stay with you. The twinkling of your first music box, watching a balloon fly in the sky, first time dipping your toes into the sea, when i saw a little girl picking roses from my vase to put carefully in her pocket, it was all these little moments hitting me with such full force, its the only way i can discribe it. I hope to understand this feeling better aswell.

Im working on somemore work.

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